My parents did some incredible things for my sister and me throughout our lives. They taught us some amazing life lessons. Some lessons took years and hindsight to understand their importance in life. Dad taught by example. What to do, when to do it, and even how to take care of the family. He worked non-stop to keep us fed, sheltered, and clothed. He wasn’t perfect, no one is. I have memories of negative statements that were said that I no longer ponder. Everyone has those moments. In the end, the good far exceeds the bad. My father was an exceptional man.
In the book of Matthew, Peter asks Jesus how many times his brother can sin against him, and still be forgiven. Jesus replies not seven but seventy times [18:22]. That was my Dad. The forgiveness and acceptance he offered no matter how many times he was lied to, ran off from, or cursed at – dad forgave. He believed when the family was in need, you knew they are in need, and you went. You picked them up without question and helped. It didn’t matter what they had done or how bad it was. Christ died on a cross for our sins. Can’t we can forgive each other? My dad practiced this philosophy. He was about building bridges in relationships. And he was a great bridge builder!
Dad set examples I follow today while being the sole caregiver of my mom. I will be the first to admit that God may be disappointed in my bridge-building skills. This is a skill I have not mastered that I struggle with and that I am still striving to accomplish with God’s guidance and patience. [Like clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in mine, Jeremiah 18:4].
Mom was the sparkle in my dad’s eye and the core of our family. They were married in 1950 and married for 61 years until the day when Dad went home to be with God. Did they quarrel, complain, and struggle? Who doesn’t? We must remember, God never promised our days would be carefree without any strife or discomfort. God didn’t promise easy. What He promised was we’d never have to battle anything on our own. “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me,” Joshua 1:9. Be strong and courageous; have no fear or trepidation, because it is God who goes before you. Jesus didn’t say it would be easy, but he said it would be worth it! [Matthew 7: 13-14]. I know my parents found their lives ‘worth it.’
Mom taught me many lessons too, like stand up straight, know your place, do my homework, raise your hand when you have a question – don’t interrupt, wash behind my ears, brush my teeth, sit still, say, “Yes Sir” and “No M’am” [I always do today]. She taught me the rules of life. Without rules, we’d live in chaos. Who is teaching the laws in your family? It’s as simple as cause and effect, and yet when it’s not done those that should be teaching are saying, “I don’t understand, what’s happening?”
She was the best homemaker I have ever known. Additional lessons included [not limited too – LOL], keep a clean house, everything has its place, cook with love. She cooked and baked like a professional chef. We ate dinner every night as a family unit. Today, I cook four to five nights a week. I prefer a home-cooked meal. I love sitting around a table sharing a meal and talking. Eating together confirms the sense of belonging; it bonds the family. With friends, it creates community. A shared meal is more important than it appears on the surface. It is an act of generosity and exposes the good in our nature. Hospitality plays a primary role in our faith and belief.
What qualities distinguish Christian life and make it unmistakable? Love, affection, patience, prayer, and offering hospitality. Where else can you get the entire family in one room long enough to find out what is going on in their daily lives? While allowing them to learn to express these characteristics.
If you don’t sit with your children nightly, you are missing out on some of the best memories of being a parent you’ll ever have. You’ll never understand what is impacting their lives. And if they take the wrong path, you’ll be the parent making uninformed statements, “I don’t understand, s/he is a good kid.” Meals together, time shared in the same room listening to each other express ideas, conflicts, and worry is ‘worth it.’
It is a team effort that makes a business or sports team successful. Teamwork is the glue that brings everything together AND holds it together! My mom and dad were A GREAT TEAM! Coach and secondary coach. They knew who needed to do what on the team. They knew each other’s abilities and skills, and they had assigned tasks, they divided and conquered.
If you are not part of a team, and sometimes you aren’t, I pray you have a village. That might not be how you saw your journey coming together, but it is better to have a village helping than going it alone. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to have both a village and an excellent partner. When the village steps up and steps in as hard as it is for your ego to admit that you had help, it’s more comfortable to acknowledge that you had support. Rewriting history takes a lot of time, effort, lies, and energy. And in the end, God still holds you accountable. Luke 12: 7 tells us, “the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” God knew you before the stars were cast into the sky. He knows the core of you. Adam and Eve couldn’t hide in the garden, Elijah walked into the desert wilderness for a day and sat under a small tree hiding from God – it didn’t work, Jonah also tried to run away and hide from God – He found him. There is no creature hidden from His sight.
My parents were great people, fantastic parents, and a dynamic team. Did they have setbacks? Yes. Did they fall, bicker, and make blunders? Yes. I could go on, but honestly, we all know the list of questions and the answers to follow. If they hadn’t faced trials along the way, they wouldn’t have been human or humble. They are and were both. My parents were honest in the way they lived. I never once remember them rewriting anything to please themselves [ego], to make themselves appear better [narcissism], or even write someone out of their life to avoid pain [pride]. In James, we are told, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” ‘Proud’ is another word for ‘vain’ or egotistical [ego].’
I rest peacefully in God’s love and hands every night knowing my father is in heaven and that one day, my mother, his soulmate, will reunite with him.
If you made it to the end of this post – thank you! Long as it was, I appreciate it and love that you will be making this journey with me. I pray God guides your steps on your spiritual journey.
